Shenanigans

A recent quote from Jeremy that made me laugh was, "Why are kids so retarded sometimes?" Well, allow me to share a couple scenarios that would bring him to say such a thing...

"Doggies poop outside in the grass. Little boys should poop inside on a potty." - Said I to Matthew

A couple weeks ago, my dad and I walked the boys to a park that's just around the corner from my house. My dad and I brought our dinner with us and we ate while the boys played. Being a bit distracted by my meal, I didn't notice that Matthew went exploring on his own (he tends to wander). From where I was sitting, there was the playground to my right, a baseball diamond straight ahead and, to my left, there was a Port-a-Potty shelter that usually houses a Port-a-Potty during tee-ball season but that only has dirt/grass right now. I looked around for little Matt until I noticed a tiny pair of feet sticking out at the bottom of the Port-a-Potty shelter. I walked over to find Matthew with his pants at his ankles. I asked, "Matt-matt, whatcha doing?" Matthew said, "Um...just pooping." And there it was. On the ground. At the park. A little Matthew poop. At least he found a little privacy to do his business...

About a week before that happened, my friend (and babysitter) took the boys to the park. Just after they got there, Matthew announces, "I need to poop!" So Melissa starts gathering the boys and tells them that they have to go home now so Matthew can poop. Matthew kneels down, starts frantically digging at the ground and says, "No wait! I dig a hole so I can poop in it!" Ha! Exercising his instinctive survival skills at just 3 years old. The next Survivorman, perhaps?

Finally, the other day, Matthew came in from the backyard and was adjusting his pants. He told me that he went outside to poop in the yard because Jordi was already using the potty... Oh my land, what is with this kid?!

So, my mantra lately has been, "Doggies poop outside in the grass. Little boys should poop inside on a potty."

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"You can color on paper - not on furniture, not on walls and certainly not your brother." - Said I to Jordan

A couple weeks ago, my mom was watching the boys while Jeremy, my dad and I went to a movie. When we got home, my says, "Ohmigosh, they were wild. They didn't go to bed until 10:30...." The story...

They went to bed at 8pm - their usual bedtime. At 9pm, my mom hears Jordan crying, so she runs upstairs to check on them. Matthew took Jordi's pacifier. She makes him give it back to him, tucks them back in, goes downstairs.
At 9:30pm, my mom hears Matthew crying, so she runs upstairs to check on them. Jordan had thrown Matt's pacifier across the room. So, she finds it, gives it back to him, tucks them back in, goes downstairs.
At 10pm, my mom hears Matthew crying again. So, once again she runs upstairs to check on them and finds Jordi half-naked. He had pooped in the potty. She walks to the bathroom to clean out the potty and when she comes back, she notices that Jordan is not only naked having pooped in the potty, but he also has a pen in his hand - which brings us to the reason why Matthew is crying. Well, Matt had lain (laid? I don't know) in his bed and allowed his brother to color ALL over him. I'm not talking a little here and a little there. Jordan had drawn "snakes" all over Matthew's feet, legs, back, tummy, hands, arms, neck, ears - even his eyelids. Ha! Poor little guy. So, Matthew was crying because he was asking Grandma, "Take it off? Pweese take it off?!"

Oh, and I hear from some of the Primary teachers that there's been more break-dancing in Primary.